You remember all that hype surrounding the movie “Magic Mike” a while back?? Well, I watched it. And I have to say it was a complete waste of my time. At the time of the movie’s release several Christian leaders posted their thoughts on the movie and I was (and still am) in complete agreement with their views.

But the other night, I was bored & exhausted after a LONG week at work. I began browsing through Amazon’s rentals & saw “Magic Mike.” I wasn’t immediately drawn to it, but in all honestly I was truly curious about all the fuss that was made. My decision to watch the movie was out of pure curiosity and nothing more. I wasn’t excited to ogle at the muscular male bodies and I sure as heck wasn’t looking for a way to get turned on.

So watch the movie I did… and it was HORRIBLE.

The acting was horrible. The plot was horrible. The cinematography was horrible. Everything about it was, you guessed it… horrible. So horrible, that I didn’t even care about the $3.99 I’d spent on the movie & didn’t even bother finishing. I highly doubt the last 35 minutes redeemed the entire movie.

It’s a few days later and I just can’t shake the absurdity of this movie. I mean, Steven Soderbergh was the director for goodness sakes! And he’s directed some doozies… Erin Brokovich, Ocean’s Eleven, Traffic, Contagion, just to name a few. You’d think with a resume like that he’d at least make an attempt to evoke some feelings other then lust & licentiousness. Guess not.

This movie clearly had one goal: to tempt. To tempt women into fantasizing about men who are not their husbands. To tempt women into spending money on strippers. To tempt women into believing that men’s bodies were created for sex and nothing more.

If I hadn’t been in recovery from sex & pornography addiction for almost 2 years, this movie would have thrown a serious wrench in my attempts at sobriety.

And that really pisses me off.

You see, Satan isn’t happy enough with the loads of men & women quietly addicted to pornography. No, he wants more. He wants to bring his distortion of sex & love into the mainstream market & show it to teenagers, single women, and wives in movie theaters. He’s been working at this for a while now & for the most part it’s been directed at men. But he sees that by attacking the men, he’s made some strides…

Most men now expect a certain type of woman in the bedroom. They expect to get physically intimate within the first few dates. They expect women to be loose with their morals. (Note, I said MOST men. Believe me, I know not all men have these expectations. This is a generalization based on my personal experience & observations.)

And in order to keep up with this expectation, in order to avoid loneliness, and in order to achieve society’s standards of worth, MOST women have given in.

Satan sees this. He sees that women are aching to be loved by men. He knows that God-driven love is pure, holy, and beautiful. And he’s working his booty off to make sure that we (men & women alike) DO NOT experience it…

Why?!

Because then we’d know the truth. We’d know that blatantly impure movies such as “Magic Mike” are just a trick to drag us down. We’d know that as appealing as casual sex & chiseled bodies may be to our libidos, there is so much more to intimacy & relationships. We’d know that God has something infinitely more beautiful for us.

Over the years, I’ve become incredibly disenchanted with the love & sex fantasy that Hollywood has so effectively shoved down our throats. That disenchantment came to head & quickly turned into anger as I watched “Magic Mike.” There is no entertainment value in movies, books, or TV shows who’s only goal is to sell sex and they aren’t even trying to hide it anymore. No, seasoned directors & talented actors are signing up for the “sex sells” campaign and it seems they don’t even care to try to make it entertaining.

So how do we as Christians fight back against the onslaught of impurity in our world?

Just today I read an article on pornography & masturbation in the church. This was the author’s final paragraph:

Let’s talk loudly about porn from the front row of the church. Cringe worthy – yes. Christians may still have the same issues as their secular friends, but let’s be actively doing something about it rather than being sucked into engaging with what presents itself as a current world of Sodom and Gomorrah.

AMEN?!

This is how we fight back… we talk loudly. Loudly about our brokeness, our addictions, and the redemption that God so faithfully provides. Let’s let our voices be heard not only vocally, but with how we spend our time & money and where we let our hearts lead. Without loud voices, others will never know that there is a way out. Satan’s message is one that distorts God’s truth about who we are and what we were created for. God’s message is one of salvation, restoration, healing… He has chosen me and you to be the voice that shouts that message.

Are you ready to join the crusade? I hope so!

We are currently featuring guest posts from a several of the women who are leading breakout sessions at WHOLE.

Today’s post is from Erin English. She is leading two breakouts at WHOLE. One for teen girls & single women and another for moms called, “Nobody Told Me.” These will be powerful presentations you will not want to miss.

It’s important to know that at WHOLE, every woman who leads a breakout has personally experienced the topic she’s addressing. These are real women who have found wholeness in their specific area of brokenness. There’s hope for whatever you’ve faced or are currently facing and for that friend, sister, mother, etc. that you don’t feel equipped to help today.

REGISTER TODAY

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Breakout: Nobody Told Me (for teen girls AND for moms)
Leader: Erin English

I can plainly remember laying in my bed at about 8 and asking Jesus into my heart. I didn’t really know what that looked like and wondered if my heart had an itty bitty door or how Jesus was even going to fit in there. It was a perfect mystery, but while I didn’t understand the how I really wanted to give Him my heart, my whole heart.

I had a “normal” childhood. I was raised by 2 wonderful parents who worked very hard to give my brother, sister and I a good home. We lived in a good neighborhood and went to great schools. I got along well with peers, made good grades, and loved playing sports. All in all, I had a great childhood.

My mother took us to Sunday School every Sunday where I soaked up the stories they taught. I could recite a parable like a youngster recites his ABCs. Just like the ABCs, I didn’t know at the time that put all together they told a bigger story and painted a more beautiful picture.

By the time I started high school, church had become a stigma. My “christianity” took a back seat to my desire to fit in and be accepted. It was right about the very same time I had my first serious boyfriend. I don’t remember being particularly smitten with this young man, but he was older. And he had a car, which meant a new type of freedom. He could drive us to the movies, pick me up from work, and even take me to and from school. Way cooler than having my Mom drop me off. It was awesome.

I knew what the Church said about sex; kind of. You weren’t supposed to have sex outside of marriage. It was a sin. Sin was frowned upon. It was bad. Sinners were bad. Good thing I wasn’t a “sinner.” Sex was something that in my mind was dirty and had a negative connotation. No one had ever talked to me about what the Bible said about sex or sexuality though. None of the Bible stories I learned talked about the fact that sex was designed by God and for my enjoyment inside of marriage as He defined it, one man & one woman for one lifetime.

I never learned about establishing personal boundaries or guardrails when it came to my body.  I had never processed through the “what thens?” of being alone with a boy or even considered that maybe it wasn’t wise to be alone with a boy at all. I never realized that not only were boundaries wise but that they were important, and not to keep me from having a good time, but to protect me physically and emotionally. Quite honestly, I really wasn’t thinking about sex at all, until crossed line after crossed boundary I was at its doorstep, one foot over the threshold…  A line that, in hindsight, should have been an established and uncrossable boundary. Really, no one should have been on the porch. I didn’t know that my body was the vessel of the living God. Holy, sanctified, and to be used for his glory.

I began cooperating with the enemy, allowing him to use what God had set apart as holy, for unholy purposes. It was a double edge sword. I believed I had completely lost salvation and I hated myself for it. I also wasn’t sorry I did it. I believed the lie the world told me, that my body was my own. That freedom was being able to do whatever I wanted with whomever I wanted to do it. I became drunk on the lies that said there weren’t any real consequences, so long as you were “careful.” The more I drank from the cup of deception, the more distorted my views of sexuality, relationship, and love became. I started to believe what the world spoke over me, and really… I couldn’t deny the worst it would say about me. I was completely poured out, broken and empty and looked for anything or anyone to fill the vacuum my brokenness left behind. Every new relationship, new drug, new IT thing was only a temporary fix that, in the end, left me more broken until one day woke up and found myself in the middle of a broken marriage, at the bottom of a dark pit.  My brokenness was bleeding out and affecting everyone and everything around me. There I met Jesus when He stepped right into my path and lifted up my face. He called me by a new name, healed my broken heart and spoke a new word over me. He called me redeemed. Forgiven. Beloved. Righteous and remade. Accepted and worthy. These are my new name. I am new. I am whole.

Here’s what I want you to hear from me today though… He hadn’t mysteriously reappeared in my life. It took me many years to realize, He had been there all along. Grieving, I’m sure, as He watched me reject Him as I embraced the world. I had asked Him into my heart at 8, and on that day He sealed my fate as HIS. On that day he called me holy. I never fell out of his hand, even as I completely gave myself over to the world and what (I believed) it had to offer, completely cooperating with the enemy and believing his lies. Here’s the truth though … I was bought at a price (1 Corinthians 6: 20a). Non refundable. He was only waiting for me to reach out and take the gift He wanted to give me. New life. Whole life.  Abundant life. John 10:10 tells us that the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy but Jesus has come that we may have life, and have it to the full. Whole.

The enemy spent far too many years condemning me and made me to believe Jesus would too. But God loved me so much, that while I was still sinning He sent Jesus. (Romans 5:8) Not to condemn me but to truly free me.

“For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned.” John 3:17-18a

He has the same gift for you. He’s waiting for you to only reach out and accept it!

We are currently featuring guest posts from a several of the women who are leading breakout sessions at WHOLE. Today’s topic and post may be a bit controversial, but so is God and so is His word. Please keep comments on this post civil and respectful. We are so proud of Karol for bringing her story into the light.

It’s important to know that at WHOLE, every woman who leads a breakout has personally experienced the topic she’s addressing. These are real women who have found wholeness in their specific area of brokenness. There’s hope for whatever you’ve faced or are currently facing and for that friend, sister, mother, etc. that you don’t feel equipped to help today.

REGISTER TODAY

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Breakout: Called Out/Homosexuality
Leader: Karol Adams

In my freshman year of high school, classmates starting teasing me and calling me a lesbian, homosexual, gay, etc. I grew up in a very small and rural community so words like these were very seldom mentioned and I wasn’t quite sure what they meant but I knew it couldn’t be a good thing. I denied the accusations but secretively started examining my inner feelings, behaviors and sexual attractions. About a year later, I had my first homosexual experience. That experience fulfilled my deepest sexual desires toward women and answered my awkwardness and lack of sexual interests toward men. Reality set in. I was terrified and sick to think that I really was a homosexual and I would be hated, persecuted, and rejected for who I am. Yet I felt I had no choice over my innocent and natural attractions toward women. I was hardwired and there was no possible way I could reverse it. Why did God let this happen to me? I was really angry, confused and felt no hope for having a normal, heterosexual life.

For years, my conscience was tormented and torn between disapproving God and embracing my homosexual identity. I felt I had only two choices. I could live a double life and repress my true feelings for same sex attractions and pretend to be a heterosexual, or live openly, honestly as a lesbian and take the chance of condemnation. Neither choice gave me a true feeling of hope and acceptance but I thought following my desires for same sex relationships was at least truthful and ultimately would bring me self-fulfillment and forgiveness from God. I chose to come out of the closet and live an open lesbian lifestyle. I was an advocate of the gay community, PFLAG, and openly protested Christians and churches that wouldn’t accept us. What temporarily satisfied my conscience with God was this idea that I could be a gay Christian. I rationalized that if God was truly a loving and forgiving Father, I would not be condemned because I was made this way and I was honest about it. I had the first part of that statement right.

Then my truth started unraveling. After years of bouncing from one same sex relationship to another, I had settled into an eight-year same-sex relationship. I thought I was content. After four years into the relationship, we brought a beautiful baby girl into the world. From the moment I held my daughter in my arms, God got my attention! I knew without a doubt my daughter was a miracle and a special blessing but I had no idea just how special and what God had planned for the both of us. My daughter marked the beginning of a complete upheaval and overhaul of everything I had believed in.

Through my unconditional love for my daughter, I started understanding the unconditional love from our Father and his son Jesus Christ. The salvation of my daughter weighed as heavily on my heart as my own. Was my child’s salvation at risk because of my lifestyle? Would it bring her the same torture and torment that it brought me early on in life? I really wanted a normal life for her and most importantly, I wanted her to know God and Jesus Christ but I wasn’t exactly leading by example. On the flip side, it was a paralyzing thought to walk away from my lesbian lifestyle that I have lived for 30 years. What would my life be without it? Then I would think of my daughter and I kept seeking answers from God.

In late 2006, I left my same-sex relationship and became a single mom. Then I took a leap in faith and I made a personal vow to God to leave the homosexual lifestyle for good. I completely surrendered my heart and trusted God over myself! Then God graciously blessed me with a second miracle. I was immediately freed from all of my sexual temptations. This is when my faith became real. This was a phenomenon that was unheard of but it was real for me and had to have come from the power of Jesus Christ. I was so graciously humbled to be chosen and inspired to know more about Jesus. I prayed daily, started reading the bible and joined a church small group (all married heterosexual couples – imagine that). I was baptized in March 2011 and my now 8-year-old daughter chose to be baptized in July 2011.

I began a personal relationship with Jesus through the Word and I was falling in love with this man. This was a first for me! I was learning the truth about homosexuality and all of the love, acceptance and freedom available without it. On the day of my baptism, the scripture shared was John 8:1-11, the adulterous woman. This was not a consequence! It was this scripture that help me understand how Jesus felt about me as a homosexual. Jesus says, ‘Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?’ ‘No one, sir,’ she replied. “Then neither do I condemn you.”

Jesus does not condemn any sexual immoralities and we are all asked to follow his example. I longed to hear these words my entire life! He goes on to say “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

Only through your belief in the grace and healing power of Jesus Christ can you really leave your life of sin. I am hard evidence that through Jesus the impossible is possible – I no longer thirst for homosexuality – I am whole!

I believe homosexuality is more than an identity but also a sexual addiction. The lifestyle is as habitual and addicting with the same physical and emotional highs and lows as drugs, alcohol, pornography, or any other emotional or physical dependency. And, we are starting to believe it is a justified, natural and normal way of life and including same sex marriages. This is a very dangerous lie for all of us to believe and only Satan could be behind it. With God’s consent, I am sharing my story and the one truth – homosexuality is not God’s design, He doesn’t condemn it and He frees us via Jesus Christ!

I’ve been asked by several people if I would please address the [current] #1 New York Times bestselling erotic fiction, Fifty Shades of Grey and it’s series of counterparts.

As someone who has not read it and as someone who has no plans to read it, it’s difficult for me to denounce an entire series of books without anything more than the understanding that it’s a sexually graphic fictional novel.

But that’s actually enough for me.

As we know here at Dirty Girls Ministries, erotic fiction or  romance novels (as many like to call them) are a gateway to other types of pornography, extramarital affairs and sexual behavior uncharacteristic of women prior to having read them.

What differs Fifty Shades of Grey from the romance novels that say… our moms read when we were kids… is that it’s packaged like Twilight and other popular books of today. You wouldn’t know it from just looking at the cover that it’s erotic material. In fact, I had no idea it was an erotic novel until I began to hear from women in my inbox about it. And this is even after I had seen it on a large display at my local Barnes & Noble.

It’s not a shirtless man with a big busted woman on the cover anymore. And it’s not a woman being seduced by the stable boy in the barn. From what I’ve researched about this series of books, the main sexual themes throughout are BDSM (bondage/discipline/sadism/masochism), control, violence, damage from childhood abuse, etc.

Why these themes have become mainstreamed enough to become the content of a bestselling novel is greatly disturbing to me. But it sums up to me that the desensitization of our culture is greater than any one of us could have imagined.

And before one argues that reading a book can’t change a person or make any difference in how a person lives their life, according to a leading fetish company, there has been an increase in their sales as a direct result of this book (article linked may be too graphic for some).

Quote from the article: “In recent weeks, we’ve received literally hundreds of calls thanks to this book… about 90% of them are middle-aged ‘soccer mom’ types who never imagined themselves calling a fetish sex toy company.”

What makes this book exactly like the romance novels of the past, is that it creates a fantasy world for women to escape into. A world that doesn’t include their husbands and one that certainly isn’t God-honoring. I don’t know about you, but my fantasies, the things I long to receive from my future husband, don’t include being violently abused and sexually humiliated.

There is nothing fun or cute about sexual violence and now that it’s becoming acceptable in the mainstream through the purchases women are making at the checkout stand (or secretly from their Amazon account), where do we go from here? It’s too terrifying to even imagine.

Above all else, guard your heart,  for everything you do flows from it.
Proverbs 4:23

Blessings,
Crystal Renaud
Founder of Dirty Girls Ministries

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For more reasons not to read Fifty Shades of Grey, read this post by Dannah Gresh.