This is no April fool.

Two years ago today, on April 1, 2011, my book Dirty Girls Come Clean was published and released by Moody Publishers. It is an accomplishment that still baffles me, but I have been so blessed by the testimonials of the women who have read it and who are being set free through the transforming power of Jesus Christ.

To commemorate the occasion, I am giving away a total of 10 copies of my book to 10 people (one copy per person). Do you want one?

Just fill out the entry form below and you will be entered as many as there are options to enter (via facebook, twitter, etc.). Entries will be accepted until 12am, Saturday, April 6.

If you have already read Dirty Girls Come Clean, please leave a comment below sharing how it has helped you on your journey. I would love to hear your story!

By entering the contest you are opting to subscribe to our email newsletter.

Blessings,

Crystal Renaud
Author of Dirty Girls Come Clean
Founder of WHOLE Women Ministries

You remember all that hype surrounding the movie “Magic Mike” a while back?? Well, I watched it. And I have to say it was a complete waste of my time. At the time of the movie’s release several Christian leaders posted their thoughts on the movie and I was (and still am) in complete agreement with their views.

But the other night, I was bored & exhausted after a LONG week at work. I began browsing through Amazon’s rentals & saw “Magic Mike.” I wasn’t immediately drawn to it, but in all honestly I was truly curious about all the fuss that was made. My decision to watch the movie was out of pure curiosity and nothing more. I wasn’t excited to ogle at the muscular male bodies and I sure as heck wasn’t looking for a way to get turned on.

So watch the movie I did… and it was HORRIBLE.

The acting was horrible. The plot was horrible. The cinematography was horrible. Everything about it was, you guessed it… horrible. So horrible, that I didn’t even care about the $3.99 I’d spent on the movie & didn’t even bother finishing. I highly doubt the last 35 minutes redeemed the entire movie.

It’s a few days later and I just can’t shake the absurdity of this movie. I mean, Steven Soderbergh was the director for goodness sakes! And he’s directed some doozies… Erin Brokovich, Ocean’s Eleven, Traffic, Contagion, just to name a few. You’d think with a resume like that he’d at least make an attempt to evoke some feelings other then lust & licentiousness. Guess not.

This movie clearly had one goal: to tempt. To tempt women into fantasizing about men who are not their husbands. To tempt women into spending money on strippers. To tempt women into believing that men’s bodies were created for sex and nothing more.

If I hadn’t been in recovery from sex & pornography addiction for almost 2 years, this movie would have thrown a serious wrench in my attempts at sobriety.

And that really pisses me off.

You see, Satan isn’t happy enough with the loads of men & women quietly addicted to pornography. No, he wants more. He wants to bring his distortion of sex & love into the mainstream market & show it to teenagers, single women, and wives in movie theaters. He’s been working at this for a while now & for the most part it’s been directed at men. But he sees that by attacking the men, he’s made some strides…

Most men now expect a certain type of woman in the bedroom. They expect to get physically intimate within the first few dates. They expect women to be loose with their morals. (Note, I said MOST men. Believe me, I know not all men have these expectations. This is a generalization based on my personal experience & observations.)

And in order to keep up with this expectation, in order to avoid loneliness, and in order to achieve society’s standards of worth, MOST women have given in.

Satan sees this. He sees that women are aching to be loved by men. He knows that God-driven love is pure, holy, and beautiful. And he’s working his booty off to make sure that we (men & women alike) DO NOT experience it…

Why?!

Because then we’d know the truth. We’d know that blatantly impure movies such as “Magic Mike” are just a trick to drag us down. We’d know that as appealing as casual sex & chiseled bodies may be to our libidos, there is so much more to intimacy & relationships. We’d know that God has something infinitely more beautiful for us.

Over the years, I’ve become incredibly disenchanted with the love & sex fantasy that Hollywood has so effectively shoved down our throats. That disenchantment came to head & quickly turned into anger as I watched “Magic Mike.” There is no entertainment value in movies, books, or TV shows who’s only goal is to sell sex and they aren’t even trying to hide it anymore. No, seasoned directors & talented actors are signing up for the “sex sells” campaign and it seems they don’t even care to try to make it entertaining.

So how do we as Christians fight back against the onslaught of impurity in our world?

Just today I read an article on pornography & masturbation in the church. This was the author’s final paragraph:

Let’s talk loudly about porn from the front row of the church. Cringe worthy – yes. Christians may still have the same issues as their secular friends, but let’s be actively doing something about it rather than being sucked into engaging with what presents itself as a current world of Sodom and Gomorrah.

AMEN?!

This is how we fight back… we talk loudly. Loudly about our brokeness, our addictions, and the redemption that God so faithfully provides. Let’s let our voices be heard not only vocally, but with how we spend our time & money and where we let our hearts lead. Without loud voices, others will never know that there is a way out. Satan’s message is one that distorts God’s truth about who we are and what we were created for. God’s message is one of salvation, restoration, healing… He has chosen me and you to be the voice that shouts that message.

Are you ready to join the crusade? I hope so!

My name is AmyChristine and I’m sitting on the “eve’ of being 9 months sober from pornography use.

I’m currently 32 years old, but my first exposure to porn was at 8 years old. Pornography and I were the best of friends for 24 years, but in April 2012, I finally called it “quits” on the friendship.

I came across Dirty Girls Ministries (DGM) shortly after it was founded in 2009. I discovered it by searching the internet for porn addiction help. I was surprised to read that I was not alone and felt very encouraged to get involved.

DGM opened up a new world to me. For the first time I had some hope. I read the founder, Crystal Renaud, had found freedom from pornography, so it gave me hope too. At the time, DGM’s online community was my source of strength when I couldn’t find it in myself. Finding DGM opened my heart up to being more vulnerable with others, including my mentor who walked alongside me through life. Through my involvement in DGM’s online community I slowly began to learn to run to Jesus in the midst of temptations.The online forum was rather small at the time, so I got to know people quite well. The online friendships were incredibly helpful. It was a comfort to know I wasn’t the only one.

I was not alone.

In 2010, after being involved in DGM’s community for a while, I came to realize that I could not save someone else. I’m not their savior, Jesus is. I can not be responsible for another person’s healing or recovery. But I can be an encouragement & a catalyst for change nonetheless. I also realized through DGM, that pornography addiction is an epidemic. New women were joining daily and at times I felt a bit overwhelmed. It was difficult to see so many women hurting and struggling with the same crap.

As I look at my 9 months of sobriety, I find a few active ingredients that contributed to my recovery. The first ingredient is, of course, Jesus. It’s impossible without Him. The second ingredient is accountability. I achieve the accountability through using Covenant Eyes & have also found a great mentor. I cannot stress how important accountability is in regards to recovery. I learned that the hard way.

The third ingredient is community. It’s critical to have people in your life that care about your recovery and freedom. I thought I had became a Christian at 16 years old. But one day my friend & mentor was praying to God asking why I wasn’t finding freedom. She had seen God do miracles and knew He would heal but why wasn’t He doing it for me? God’s response to her was “She doesn’t know Me.” Once I heard that I realized I had never been verbal about my acceptance of Christ. That changed on Feb 17, 2011 and from there things slowly started to change.

It took over a year of actively going to counseling, changing counselors, trying recovery 12 step groups & everything imaginable, for my heart to begin to change as well. It wasn’t the groups that changed my heart, it was my walk with Christ and the people that care about me that changed my heart.

It was April 2012 when I finally decided to give up porn again. This was probably the millionth time “quitting,” but I didn’t know it was my last time. It’s also the same time I gave up the on/off again online relationship with woman I had met in 2009.

I am a testament to the fact that God can change hearts and lives! Am I worried about relapse? Yes, of course. I think every addict is. And I believe a relapse would be devastating. But now, I know who to run to… His name is Jesus.

If you are new to DGM, I want to welcome you. This community is a great place to start your recovery and find freedom!

Attention all Church Leaders, Women’s Ministry Leaders, College Ministry Leaders, Student Ministry Leaders and any other ministry leader who works with teen girls and/or adult women … we want to invite you to attend a very brief informational meeting on Saturday, April 6 about our WHOLE Women’s Conference, featuring Dannah Gresh, Annie Lobert and Lisa Whittle.

What makes our conference unique this year is that WHOLE 2013 will be held entirely ONLINE via web streaming and presented for FREE (on Saturday, September 7).

We are all about community here. So while attending a conference in one’s pajamas sounds great, we would very much LOVE and PREFER for women to gather together to attend this conference. And that’s where you come in. What better place to have women gather together than at a church, college campus or other ministry location in their own backyard … where true community is already taking place?

This non-committal informational meeting on Saturday, April 6 at 10am CST will serve as your opportunity to learn more about WHOLE Women’s Conference (speakers, topics, purpose, etc.), what it would look like for you to host (technology, promotional needs, etc.) and a chance to answer any questions you might have (you ask it, we’ll answer it). Please use the link below to register!

REGISTER NOW

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This meeting is not intended for women who are just interested in attending and want more information. For information about the conference itself, including how to register, visit WHOLECONFERENCE.COM.

How Safe is Your Marriage?

Today, we are excited to share with you a brief interview with our good friend Trisha Davis, the co-author of the new book Beyond Ordinary, that she penned with her husband Justin.

In this beautifully written book, Justin and Trisha take us inside the slow fade that occurred in their own marriage—each telling the story from their own perspective. Together, they reveal the mistakes they made, the work they avoided, the thoughts and feelings that led to an affair and near divorce, and finally, the heart-change that had to occur in both of them before they could experience the hope, healing, and restoration of a truly extraordinary marriage.

Order your copy of Beyond Ordinary HERE, download chapters 1 and 2 for free HERE, or visit BeyondOrdinaryBook.com for additional free resources that are available for a limited time.

Now, without further adieu, here’s my interview with Trisha…

Blessings,
Crystal

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1. Briefly, share with us how pornography first affected your marriage and where it eventually lead to.

Justin and I got married young. In the first two years we were married we moved five times; had a baby and started brand new careers. Justin had become a full-time youth pastor and I was a full-time stay-at-home mom. The demands of life left little time to be physically intimate; at least that’s how I would justify it in my head. We would go weeks sometimes months without having sex. In my mind I knew sex was important but I didn’t think it needed to be a top priority. This became the norm for the next ten years of marriage.

As this area increasingly became a source of contention Justin started looking for other ways to fill this need. What started as a simple “I’ll only do this once” not only became an addiction but a prison of shame and secrecy. It wasn’t till Justin had an affair in 2005 before I would find he also had a porn addiction and was sexually abused as a child. It was the first time in our marriage I finally knew ALL of the truth. As soul crushing, as it was to hear all that had been hidden for so long, we were finally living in truth.

The word intimacy means to be fully known. For the first time in a long time Justin was fully known by God and now by his wife. Although the pain was more than I have words for, we both for the first time in our marriage were able to experience freedom. Freedom found in confession.

Freedom in knowing God still loved us both regardless of how messed up we are. Freedom found in the glorious light of forgiveness that brings about healing.

2. What is your advice for someone who struggles with pornography, but who might think it’s harmless?

Sin always leads to death, maybe not a physical death but death of relationships, death of dreams. We convince ourselves “this is the last time and then I’m quitting”. Regardless if you’re a food addict, drug addict, attention addict or porn addict, addiction always leaves you wanting more. One “last time” isn’t enough and eventually what was meant as a one-time event becomes an obsession. An obsession that breaks intimacy of being fully known and eventually starts to erode the person, wife, husband, mom or friend God longs for you to be.

If you’re addicted to porn and reading this post please hear my passionate plea for you to know that you’re NOT ALONE! You are not too messed-up, too addicted, too broken to find healing! But you will have to choose it. You will have to choose to believe that God can heal you. I don’t know how or what your healing looks like but I know Jesus is able. Will it painful? Most-likely but this time it will be redemptive pain that leads you to live in the freedom only he can provide.

3. What is your advice for the wife or husband of someone who struggles with pornography?

As hard as this is to believe, it’s not personal. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t feel betrayed or angry but there’s more to pornography than simply looking at images. Once you are able to grieve and accept the reality of your spouse’s pornography addiction you can then take your own steps to find healing. Healing begins when:

– Have honest conversations with your spouse
- Seek wise counsel from professional counselors, pastors and friends who have been on the same journey.
- Pray! Pray for wisdom, strength and grace and I promise you God will show up in ways that will blow your mind.

4. Why did you and Justin decide to write this book together?

Honestly I fought the idea of writing a book. There is a sea of marriage books out there so why add another? Why or how for that matter would God use our story anyway? Then it hit me. The story of the three servants found in Matthew 25:14-30.

Three people were given a gift of money and the freedom to do whatever they choose with it. One hid it while the other two did something with their money allowing it to multiply. God gave me the gift of HIS redemption story; the question was would I be willing to do something with it? Beyond Ordinary is my response to that call.

5. Who should read this book? Is it just for married couples?

We hope this book meets you right were you’re at. Single, married or single again this book will take you on a journey in which you will find your own story in the midst of ours. Regardless if you’re an addict or recovery addict we hope ordinary will be defeated with each turn of the page and you will see that God is fighting for you more than you are fighting for yourself.