I wasn’t going to share this here. I thought I would only post this on my personal facebook wall. You see, I was going to post something more typical of a fundraising post. Something more flashy and corporate. But the more I thought about it, this post shares my heart more than probably anything I’ve written before. And there’s no better place to share my heart than in the place my heart resides. Right here at Dirty Girls Ministries.

Thank you for taking a few minutes to read on…
(or donate now).

I am not tooting my own horn (I promise), but I have always been a financially generous person. Not because I had a lot of money, but because I knew what I had was not my own.

Buying someone’s lunch, giving toward a mission trip, helping a friend adopt a a child, or even donating toward the medical expenses of a cancer patient … just didn’t phase me.

I gave because I could give.

One of the hardest things about leaving my 9-5 job nearly 18 months ago to pursue Dirty Girls Ministries full-time and now being back in college, was knowing I wouldn’t be able to just give whenever I wanted to give. Mainly because I wouldn’t have anything to give. And that’s been the case.

Even sponsoring my sweet Phaphama in South Africa has been a tremendous challenge.

This journey of running a non-profit is not one that I planned to be on. I don’t find it easy or enjoyable to ask my friends and family (and strangers) to donate toward my ministry. I find it uncomfortable to say, “if you donate, then I might be able to get paid a little.” Because after all, I chose to do this thing. I chose to walk away from the security of a paycheck.

But those are the things that I have to do.

Because God chose to bring me to this place. It is Him who has created this passion for women in my heart. And it is Him who made a way in the desert in my own life all those years ago.

I’ve been set apart to do this work. Just as you have a work that God has set you a part to do. Whether you have discovered what that is yet or not.

Ephesians 2:10, “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

I know that not a lot of people understand what I do. Or why I do it. I know that talking about pornography and sex is uncomfortable. And I know this kind of work goes against the status quo. There are many websites out there who would like nothing more than for me to close up shop on this whole thing.

But there are 1000+ women in our online community today who depend on us. Who depend on me and my other volunteer staff (Jenny, Lauren and Stephanie) for the tools we offer that provide them with help, hope and healing from pornography and sexual addiction – through complete surrender to Christ and through authentic community of believing sisters to hold them accountable.

They don’t get this kind of help from the world. And unfortuntely, they don’t get this kind help from the Church either.

Which is why we need your help in order for us to keep helping them. We know it is more comfortable to give toward starving children and clean water. Those are absolutely noble causes – ones I have given to myself.

But over the next week (June 11-15), we are asking you to please prayerfully consider supporting Dirty Girls Ministries in a financial way.

Each and every cent given goes directly to the operating costs of our programs and services that provide help, hope and healing for women with pornography and sexual addiction. These gifts also allow everything we do to be free of charge. Any gift, of any size, makes a difference.

You can watch our brief video below that describes the work we do and how you can be involved. OR you can donate now by clicking here or using the options below.

And all financial contributions made to Dirty Girls Ministries are tax-deductible in the United States.

Thank you in advance for your prayers and generosity.

Humbly,
Crystal Renaud
Founder, Dirty Girls Ministries

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You can also mail your check or cash donation to:
Dirty Girls Ministries
PO Box 860344
Shawnee, KS 66286

Please make checks payable to Dirty Girls Ministries.

You can also support Dirty Girls Ministries by becoming an advertiser/sponsor. Learn more.

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*Dirty Girls Ministries is a 501 (c) (3) non profit charitable organization. Contributions may be tax deductible to the fullest extent allowed by law in the United States only.

Our friends over at FireTrigger are rereleasing their independent film Willful Entrapment as a new DVD experience.

Willful Entrapment is a visually arresting short film that removes the veil from the the perception of “innocent fun” from pornography and depicts it as the door to psychotic addiction and destruction that it really is.

They’ve taken their hard-hitting film and are rereleasing it, adding discussion questions and more to the already powerful material.

From FireTrigger: Our aim is to create something that would really help organizations / churches effectively engage their people on this topic. Be part of the first wave to gain access to this material and have the opportunity to let us know direclty what you need.

You can be one of the first to access this material by applying to receive a Beta DVD.

APPLY NOW

My LifeGroup is one that meets online on Monday nights.

It began forming over a year ago through some connections I’ve met through the interwebs (even as far as Australia). It is definitely unconventional, but these people have grown to be some of my closest friends and have become as important in my life as a vital body part.

And with a year like 2009 was… with so much unknown and insecurity… I really needed them. And they were there very minute.

We took a mini-break for the holidays and decided to go through this Bible Reading Plan from YouVersion this next semester.

I don’t know about you—but my Bible reading has been neglected and I am really hungry to dig back in. I will let you know it goes.

Are you in a LifeGroup? What are you studying?

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Pictured from Left to Right: Me, Jenni, David, Diane, Rindy and Lynse.

Is it just me, or does it seem like making friends used to be easier?

The other afternoon I was standing in my front yard enjoying the fall colors, smells and cool temps when my state of autumn nirvana was interrupted by the sound of little neighbor boys barreling down the street. I found myself mesmorized by their innocence and just watched them for a bit. When they stopped at another neighbor’s house I overheard the following take place:

*Knock-Knock*
“Hey, can you come out and play?”

Soon, another young boy ran out of the house, out with the other boys and they all began bouncing around a basketball, fighting over which college basketball team was better than the other. What I noticed the most was how comfortable they seemed. You could tell they were of varying ages but it didn’t matter. Each one had a place and they belonged.

I remember being that age and having a similar experience with my girlfriends. Granted, we were playing “house,” “school” or some variation of “pretend” … but I remember how comfortable it was. There was always someone to play with and all it took was a couple knocks on the door and one simple question, “can you come out and play?”

But why and what point did all this get so difficult?

I moved away in middle school, leaving my childhood friends behind. And from then on, it seemed I never fit in. I even had a friend in high school go as far as to say that I was holding her back from her own popularity potential … and that was the end of our friendship. She became cheerleading captain, and I spent most days in a darkroom developing pictures for yearbook or in a practice room for vocal competitions.

In recent years, I’ve come into my own a bit more, but this idea of being popular or not, or liked or not, or valued or not has followed me into adulthood. Often times I just feel defective. Always taking the bump along the way onto myself—reverting back to a shy, self-conscious high school girl—just waiting to be crushed under the wheel again. And I have no doubt that this fear holds me back from truly genuine, and life-giving friendships and possibly contributed to the downfall of a couple of my closest friendships (or so is the belief of my Life Coach).

Some of you reading this will have no clue how to relate to this struggle. Making and keeping friends has always come easily to you… and that’s awesome. But I wonder how many other women (and men) struggle with making and keeping friendships (out of fear, anxiety or some variation). How many of us have been hurt enough times that it almost seems easier now to just fly solo?

In processing a lot of this, I am realizing just how hungry I am for a real community of friends. I am truly lonely. Granted, I love the friends the internet has brought me. In fact, I am indebted to them. And my friends who have moved away (it sucks when friends move away, can I just say that?)—I love having the technology that makes it possible to stay connected. And the friends I do have close by are wonderful.

But my heart is craving more.

My heart is craving genuine live community—a real group of girlfriends to laugh with, cry with and hug and commune with. It has been a while since I’ve felt this way, and to be honest with you… I am scared. I am scared of what it will mean to expose my heart again—of what it will mean to open up again—of what it will mean to risk being hurt again.

CS Lewis says, “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”

I am sure good old Lewis is right about this. But I struggle with trusting that this is truly out there for me.

I know this a pretty vulnerable post from me today. Definitely not what I truly intended on writing. So, feel free to break the tension a bit by commenting with a joke or something. Ha!