I wasn’t going to share this here. I thought I would only post this on my personal facebook wall. You see, I was going to post something more typical of a fundraising post. Something more flashy and corporate. But the more I thought about it, this post shares my heart more than probably anything I’ve written before. And there’s no better place to share my heart than in the place my heart resides. Right here at Dirty Girls Ministries.

Thank you for taking a few minutes to read on…
(or donate now).

I am not tooting my own horn (I promise), but I have always been a financially generous person. Not because I had a lot of money, but because I knew what I had was not my own.

Buying someone’s lunch, giving toward a mission trip, helping a friend adopt a a child, or even donating toward the medical expenses of a cancer patient … just didn’t phase me.

I gave because I could give.

One of the hardest things about leaving my 9-5 job nearly 18 months ago to pursue Dirty Girls Ministries full-time and now being back in college, was knowing I wouldn’t be able to just give whenever I wanted to give. Mainly because I wouldn’t have anything to give. And that’s been the case.

Even sponsoring my sweet Phaphama in South Africa has been a tremendous challenge.

This journey of running a non-profit is not one that I planned to be on. I don’t find it easy or enjoyable to ask my friends and family (and strangers) to donate toward my ministry. I find it uncomfortable to say, “if you donate, then I might be able to get paid a little.” Because after all, I chose to do this thing. I chose to walk away from the security of a paycheck.

But those are the things that I have to do.

Because God chose to bring me to this place. It is Him who has created this passion for women in my heart. And it is Him who made a way in the desert in my own life all those years ago.

I’ve been set apart to do this work. Just as you have a work that God has set you a part to do. Whether you have discovered what that is yet or not.

Ephesians 2:10, “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

I know that not a lot of people understand what I do. Or why I do it. I know that talking about pornography and sex is uncomfortable. And I know this kind of work goes against the status quo. There are many websites out there who would like nothing more than for me to close up shop on this whole thing.

But there are 1000+ women in our online community today who depend on us. Who depend on me and my other volunteer staff (Jenny, Lauren and Stephanie) for the tools we offer that provide them with help, hope and healing from pornography and sexual addiction – through complete surrender to Christ and through authentic community of believing sisters to hold them accountable.

They don’t get this kind of help from the world. And unfortuntely, they don’t get this kind help from the Church either.

Which is why we need your help in order for us to keep helping them. We know it is more comfortable to give toward starving children and clean water. Those are absolutely noble causes – ones I have given to myself.

But over the next week (June 11-15), we are asking you to please prayerfully consider supporting Dirty Girls Ministries in a financial way.

Each and every cent given goes directly to the operating costs of our programs and services that provide help, hope and healing for women with pornography and sexual addiction. These gifts also allow everything we do to be free of charge. Any gift, of any size, makes a difference.

You can watch our brief video below that describes the work we do and how you can be involved. OR you can donate now by clicking here or using the options below.

And all financial contributions made to Dirty Girls Ministries are tax-deductible in the United States.

Thank you in advance for your prayers and generosity.

Humbly,
Crystal Renaud
Founder, Dirty Girls Ministries

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You can also mail your check or cash donation to:
Dirty Girls Ministries
PO Box 860344
Shawnee, KS 66286

Please make checks payable to Dirty Girls Ministries.

You can also support Dirty Girls Ministries by becoming an advertiser/sponsor. Learn more.

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*Dirty Girls Ministries is a 501 (c) (3) non profit charitable organization. Contributions may be tax deductible to the fullest extent allowed by law in the United States only.

I am entering new territory.

On Friday, my grandma was released from the hospital following complications during knee surgery. And was battling pneumonia. She is now home and unable to walk (or is cognitively refusing to walk).

My dad went down to help my grandpa take care of her upon returning home.

However, on Sunday night my grandpa broke down in tears before my dad telling him that he is simply unable to take care for her on his own anymore. So now my grandpa, my dad and his siblings are having to make the impossibly difficult decision regarding nursing home care for her.

I can’t even imagine having to make this decision.

For 25 years, I have been blessed to have all 4 of my grandparents. While I wasn’t always close to each them (living far away), I knew they were healthy and well.

That’s all changing.

Back in November, I got a glimpse of my grandma’s failing health. Her dementia and Alzheimer’s. And her inability to walk by herself. But dang, this just seems to be happening so fast now. We’re losing her to her own mind and body.

And if I may vent… I am angry about it.

And it angers me that my mom’s dad (who is a verbally abusive, cruel man) gets to just live in his home ruling over my other grandma (who might I add has lost all joy in her life through marriage to him).

While my dad’s mom (my 4’10″ devout Catholic grandma) is losing her cognitive health and can’t even walk or make it to the bathroom on her own. And my grandpa who made the promise to never put her into a nursing home unless he was going to go with her … is facing having to break that promise to his bride.

Knowing that my grandpa cried talking to my dad about her wrecks me.

Ugh.

This is new season of life for them. She isn’t herself anymore and it is hard to understand. But I suppose it is apart of life that most of us will eventually face.

I am simply praying for peace over my entire family as they make the tough decisions. I know that God isn’t surprised by this so neither should we be. But it doesn’t make it any easier.

Please and thank you for praying with us and for us.

Grandpa and Grandma's 85th Birthday—November 2009.

Circa 1987. I'm the one in the back in the navy dress. Grandma is in the front center.

Part of my Thanksgiving weekend was spent in Perryville, MO. It is a town with a population of less than 9,000 about an hour and half south of St. Louis, MO. It is also home to my paternal grandparents.

My family and much of my extended family gathered together in Perryville to celebrate the 85th birthdays of my grandparents. It was a wonderful time getting to see cousins I haven’t seen in years and seeing their spouses and children.

There is something in my mind that only remembers my grandparents as young, active and alert. I remember my grandma baking the most amazing chocolate chip cookies. I remember my grandpa taking me out for ice cream. I remember making 2 or 3 visits a year with my whole family piled in the car and knowing my cousins better than I knew my best friends.

But it has been 7 years since I have paid a visit. And so much has changed—even in that amount of time.

Seeing my grandparents aging is a difficult reality to be faced with. My grandma is forgetful and has signs of dementia. She has to use a motorized scooter to get around and needs help with virtually everything. My grandpa helps her all he can and that further ages him. I found myself with such a great sense of sadness seeing them this way.

I also found myself with such a great sense of guilt for having not been more involved in the lives of my extended family. For having taken family for granted. I kept looking around at my cousins all mingling together and gushing over babies and sharing stories from their lives.

But I was sitting there with nothing but memories.
So badly wanting to reinvent those feelings again.
Wondering why we had grown so segregated.
I even have an uncle and 4 cousins who didn’t make it—and I have no clue where they are or what they are doing.

Hopefully through technology like facebook, I will be able to keep in touch my cousins again. At least those I was able to reunite with over the weekend. I desire to be a more active part of their lives. If they will have me. Because soon, it will be us who are 85 and I want to think that family will come see me.

Friends come and go (as I know far too well) but family is forever…
Shame on me for not making them all a priority until now.

Circa 1987. I’m the one in the back in the navy dress.

Circa 2009. I think you can find me.