see previous random question fridays…

- – - – - -

Out of the millions upon millions of blogs/websites out there, who/what are you reading?

- – - – - -

A blog I have really come to love is by a woman I have really come to love named, Sarah Markley. She is one of the most beautiful writers I have ever allowed my eyes to read. Usually partnered with beautiful photography, Sarah’s writing is real and it is raw. Real life doesn’t get more real than this woman’s ability to bring you into her heart. The good and the bad, all the while pointing her readers back to Jesus. If you haven’t read her before, might I suggest you begin with her amazing story of redemption.

I am honored to call Sarah my friend.

- – - – - -

For the who’s who of ministry blogs, Church Relevance has compiled a list of their 100 Top picks. No, I didn’t make the cut. Ha! But I am always so excited to see on lists like these, a good dozen friends of mine. Who are the real deal. Who started small and God’s using them to reach thousands of people. I love that!

Hi, my name is Crystal and I’m a Stat Ho.

I’m just going to be honest with you that since returning from my 2-month break from blogging, I’ve been struggling with reconciling my current stat numbers with those from before my break. Stats meaning, the amount of traffic that comes to my little piece of internet real estate.

Going into my blog break, I more than mentally prepared myself that some folks weren’t going to come back. That I was going to lose some readers. And I thought I was okay with that. But since coming back, I just feel retched. I didn’t take into consideration what losing some readers would to me emotionally.

The numbers before my break and after my break now, are extraordinarily different. And not for the better as you’ve guessed by now. It is like I left to work on some things that were important to me and future ministry, just to come back and find that no one’s around. Like I’ve been abandoned and left without support. Like the last 5+ years of writing here may even have been in vain.

And it is totally bumming me out.

Granted, it isn’t as though no one shows up. And to those of you who do and are reading this now, I am not overlooking you. Really, I’m not. In fact, you’re my one shimmer of hope in this whole crazy thing. And I also know that none of this is even supposed to be about me. But for some reason I keep getting in the way.

I just wanted to share this with you that here today, this is my struggle. I know, I sound like a strange combination of childish, insecure and elitist – but that’s totally not my intention or my point. This feeling of inadequacy and insecurity has even prevented me from posting some things because I don’t feel “good” enough anymore.

So, I don’t know if you ever struggle with this sort of thing (as a writer, as a blogger, etc.) but I do. And I am right now. But hopefully I’ll snap out of it soon… Lord knows there’s much to say and I need to just get over myself. That even if I was the only one to read any of it – that needs to be good enough.

I’m just not quite there yet, I guess.

… has an amazing story to share.

This week on her blog, Sarah Markley is sharing an amazing story of redemption. Her story to and from an affair.

I really want to encourage you guys to go over take a read. Her bravery is unmatched and her honesty is to be revered. She’s painfully authentic in sharing her life… laying it all out there.

At the same time… in her honesty, I’m sure there will be people who don’t really know WHAT to say and may accidentally say hurtful things. Please pray for her and Chad in this process… as they continue to work on healing, restoration and come out to share their story.

We ALL have much to learn because our lives are a bit more connected and similar than we’ll ever know.

In case you didn’t know from reading my Twitter, I am actually in Portland, OR. I am vacationing, working on Dirty Girls stuff and doing a little bit of writing. So, it may be a little quiet around here this week.

In Portland, I am staying with my friend Jenni Clayville. She’s quite hospitable… that is, when I am not cleaning her kitchen or chasing one of her kids around. While I am here visiting, we thought it would be fun to have a Q&A session together.

Ask anything. About me. About her. About us.
Serious or Silly… just ask.

Tam Hodge. Jenni Clayville.

If you never get the privilege of spending even 5 minutes with these 2 women in real life… you will have lived an unfulfilled life.

I can’t believe there was a time in history when the internet and technology were not a part of our lives. Some people say that the internet and all of this social media mumbo-jumbo is creating fake intimacy. Fake relationships.

But I say to you now… just look.

Without blogs, twitter, facebook, etc. I would not even be in Portland this weekend. I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to speak at an up and coming church plant and minister into the lives of people. I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to experience worship with Jenni, Tam, Brent and Kass. I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to meet Brian and experience his crazy awesome organic cooking. I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to hold, cuddle and nibble on 2 of the cutest kids ever. I wouldn’t have met Lauren Allen, Tyler & Rose Braun, Mandy Conforth, Melanie Sainz, or Rick & his wife. I wouldn’t have had the opportunity for Kota to fart on me (okay, so I could have done without that last one).

Because of this crazy world (that is getting smaller and smaller each day through technology), I have a whole other family. Real relationships and real friendships, that even 5-10 years ago… would have been impossible to create.

My life has actually been changed and impacted for the better because of the people I have met through the internet (via lifegroup online, twitter, my blog community, my book site, etc). I think about all of the people I met this weekend and as well as people like Diane and David who are seriously the most generous and prayerful people I know, Christy who is darn near my personal therapist at times and Lynse Stevens who is one of my biggest encouragers.

And there’s so many more people that I can’t even begin to name everyone. I can’t imagine my life without them in it or what it would have been like to never have met them.

This is Church. This is life.

I know it is unconventional. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.